​The Silent Wins: How to Acknowledge and Celebrate Your Growth

Image by Büşra ARSLANTÜRK from Pixabay

Recently Evette Rose said to me “Take in the milestones you’ve achieved”. This reminded me of Sarah Durham Wilson’s work, which I revisited recently, and was struck by two key points: the importance of speaking to myself with kindness and compassion, and celebrating the wisdom and strength I've cultivated from my experiences.

Anyone who has transitioned from paid work to parenting knows the immediate challenge of tracking productivity in a traditional sense. However, this isn't just about parenting; it's about the myriad of life experiences that shape us, often without us noticing. These changes can be slow and incremental, only evident in hindsight, or sudden events that alter our world overnight.

In our daily lives, we often fail to take stock of the progress we make and give ourselves credit for our achievements. Friendships that become invaluable, which take time to nurture and cultivate, health issues that profoundly affect us, travel that broadens our perspective, and the death of loved ones that shape us in unpredictable ways—all these experiences and more contribute to our growth.

Reflecting on Sarah and Evette’s words, I thought about my life over the past ten years since leaving the corporate world. Child-rearing has been a significant part of this journey, a long game with the goal of raising children who express themselves authentically, have good boundaries, respect others' boundaries, and can live independently by adulthood.

Until they reach milestones where more of the world rushes in to meet them - like going to high school, going into higher education, starting work, moving into their own places, navigating relationships and so forth - there’s not such a solid sense of how they are learning to hold themselves in the world.

But there are many small moments of achievement along the way, from a child's thoughtful gesture to their creative expression, or mature handling of a disagreement. In fact, in every day, there’s often something that – if I’m looking – I can catch them doing right. That is not something that comes naturally to me, but I think it’s important.

Recognising these milestones in our children is crucial, but so is acknowledging our own progress and growth. This self-recognition is not arrogance, arrogance has its base in superiority, it’s a comparison with others, whereas self recognition is to give yourself credit for what you have achieved relative to the person you were yesterday, or last week, or last year, and last decade etc.

Prior to having children, my career had been in the field of transformation, which – a bit like parenting - is also a long game. But the rigors of corporate life, with regular performance reviews in place, forced me both to set goals and to work with my own teams and their departments to set goals and review progress also. The bottom line is that – when I had to – I took stock and tracked my achievements. It did make me realise, though, that the time spent hadn’t been wasted and that everything I think or do has a cause and effect in my life.

Inspired by Evette and Sarah’s words, I started to write out all the things I’d been doing in my life in the last ten years. I’m not sure I saw them as accomplishments, but I realised there’s been some quite profound personal growth and healing, innovative parenting in education and healthcare, establishing a business, publishing quite a body of articles on personal growth and trauma, navigating several hefty and significant life transitions, including the death of my mum and several close family members, and have cultivating a vision for future projects.

Updating my resume used to be a painful process, requiring me to dig really deep to be able to articulate my achievements and market myself authentically. This time I fed my experiences into an AI engine, which structured it for me beautifully. In summary it read “These accomplishments reflect a blend of personal resilience, professional expertise, and deep commitment to personal growth and societal contribution”.

While these words feel like they might describe someone else, I’m learning to embrace them for myself, recognising the gap between my perception and reality. I am taking that in; because that is the gap I want to close. Taking time for self-recognition and pride in my achievements has helped me see how my past experiences have uniquely prepared me for future goals.

Something I know we have all contended with, which highlights our resilience and adaptability, were the not insignificant challenges of the COVID19 pandemic. This included lockdowns, restrictions and varying degrees of polarization within families and societies, quite aside of the effects that the virus itself may have had on you and yours personally.

What else are you not giving yourself credit for? What gains and growth have you accomplished that deserve recognition? How might acknowledging these achievements boost your confidence and shape your vision for the future? Your story is unique, and every step you’ve taken matters. Celebrate your milestones and let them guide you towards a fulfilling and empowered future.

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy From Armor to Empowerment: Softening into Strength Through Self-Kindness, The Soul’s Yearning – How to Recognise Your Inner Work, Celebrate Often the Ways in Which You Are More Than Good Enough and Focus Not on What Was Taken but Embrace What Was Given. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.